What can I say here...... Yes I am having some conflicting ideas in my heart but they are only conflicting with others ideals and perceptions of what is unacceptable. I remember the first taboo type role play video I released I got all kinds of flack because it is a line that some people just can't tolerate even playing that it could be crossed over, but I just felt it was so out there that who the heck would take it seriously??!! It was play acting, and BAAAADDD acting at that! At the same time I refused to do forced sex videos, because THAT IS too real and too close to what happens all over the world to women everyday and I just didn't want my fans to think I was ok with that. If it was as unbelievable as Taboo I wouldn't have given it much thought. I do know that there are some women who truly do enjoy rough and controlled/forced sex, but my goodness it is VERY VERY few that I have ever met. It is so important to me that young men in particular don't confuse the rough and abusive things they see with their own sexual desires. Ok enough of that.
I have a lot of unreleased pictures that my Hubby is still going to be dropping here and I WILL be posting them along with new videos for my members. I don't PLAN on making any new sex videos, but that doesn't eliminate all videos. I have used, and will continue to use, the income I have been blessed with to help a lot of people, family, friends, and strangers. As long as I can use that money to have some good come of it I feel it would be wasteful to just let it go to others who wouldn't do the same. I'm sure I'll hear all the bullies come out with their cries of "Hypocrite" and "Fake" right along with the other side calling me a "whore" and "fake believer" but I'm fine with that. I know my heart and I am at peace with what I have done and what I feel I need to do. There are so many people I have met on this journey in this industry who are so lost in darkness, seeing some lovely ladies take their lives because even though they had fortune and fame, their hearts were lost on how much more there is to this world, and this life, and for those of you who believe in such a thing, after life. If I continue how I am headed right now and am mocked for it, lose friends, lose money, lose the fame.... if I can just help even 1 young woman or young man change their life to not be so empty and lost, then it was all worth it. I hope I'm making sense. For me to be taken even a little seriously I believe I have to step away from making content, and my heart has not been in it for some time now anyway. As you can imagine I'm still finding my way with this so if I seem like I am waffling here and there it;s because I am! LOL Big changes in my life but I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!!! It's hard to even describe waking up and feeling so alive and excited for each day.
One more thing, and not the LAST thing because I will be here again, I LOVE you guys who have been here supporting me, supporting my work, and just taking the time to be so sweet and supportive over the years, Big Kisses!![/COLOR][/FONT]